Saturday, 26 April 2014

LIFE | Anxiety and panic attacks.

I didn't know what to do for today's post, as I've been pretty busy with school work and revising for my exams, which are coming up way too soon (like two weeks). So I thought as I haven't spoken an awful lot about myself since starting this blog, that I would talk about something close to my heart. It's something that I'm sure a lot of you have either dealt with personally or been close to someone who has. I'm hoping that writing this knowing that I have suffered with anxiety will help any of you, as you can see how I stay positive and that you’re not alone.

I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks. For those of you who might not know what it means basically anxiety is a feeling of worry, for me I find it easy to describe it as feeling unsettled, insecure and unsafe. These feelings can lead to further panic. I think pretty much everyone feels anxiety because it’s just a normal emotion to feel but some people have larger amounts of anxiety and often feel anxious when there's nothing to be anxious about. As I mentioned, I also suffer with panic attacks, I don't know if these are normal actions for quite a lot of anxiety sufferers but for me they are. A panic attack is a sudden rush of adrenaline which is usually caused by an uncontrollable level of anxiety. For me these happen mostly at night, before I go to sleep so everything is going through my mind and I can't stop being anxious but I do also get feelings of panic attacks throughout the day, I just find during the day at school they are easier to try and forget about.

However, the scariest part for me was not talking to anyone about it properly and although I knew that I wasn't the only one, I still felt totally isolated and like I was crazy and not normal. It has ruined my self esteem but as I've never been the most socially confident person, this wasn't too different. Just over a year ago, when I was about 14 this is when my anxiety was properly diagnosed and although I'd noticed some signs before, this was when I knew I needed to see someone about it. So I did. I don't want to go into too much detail, because to be honest I don't remember much of how I felt with anxiety when it was first diagnosed. 

I just want to write this blog post purely to help those of you who feel the same or have similar issues and maybe help you to think positively. This year, my anxiety has gotten better, I still get extremely anxious but in particular my panic attacks have been less frequent and I haven't found myself getting so anxious before sleeping, meaning I've been getting better nights sleep. But as I said last year with being a 'newbie' to the whole world of feeling abnormally anxious, I was suffering with anxiety quite badly and it was making my everyday life in school particularly very difficult. I would just worry about every single thing, I'd come home and just feel so weak and not my old self. I wanted to briefly talk about my story of anxiety to try and give some of you who may be at your lowest point some hope. So last year, I was really struggling with my anxiety on a daily basis and it was stopping me doing things I would usually enjoy doing. I was making every decision based around my anxiety.

The one thing I would suggest to any of you out there who are suffering, don't suffer alone. Go and see a hypnotherapist, they are trained and they (believe it or not!) do know how you're feeling and they can totally relate to you. Just don't be afraid, I am a bit of a hypocrite saying this to be honest because I haven't been to see anyone since I was diagnosed. I know it's bad and I should, but do think somehow my brain is doing something to calm down all my anxious thoughts. I want to let those of you know who are in a low place or have been that you can easily get back to a good place again. I have learnt to be anxious from a young age (not on purpose, of course) and I have tried to teach myself recently a different way of thinking and new ways to think past all my anxieties. I do still have many ups and downs, but I'm much more balanced, safe and secure.

Suffering with anxiety isn't easy, it's not a fashionable thing. It's actually a serious and very common problem that many people face. If you are struggling with anxiety please do try and tell someone whoever it may be. Just please don’t feel alone. I want to share with you all a few things that I find help to give me a bit of space and reassurance when I’m feeling anxious. 

1. I tend to ask myself what I'm worrying about then I answer it and if I'm still feeling anxious after saying what I think has made me anxious then I ask myself again and again until I feel better.

2. I always remind myself that this is an emotional state. It's not something that lasts forever, in a matter of minutes I'll feel better.
3. I do simple things like having a bath or shower so I feel relaxed. I try to value the time I have with myself  when I feel anxious because it's really important.

4. I think music is a good relaxant, it can really change my mood and help me think more positively. It doesn't have to be anything in particular, just your 'feel good' songs.

I know I said that I wouldn't say too much in this post but I like to express my feelings. If this post helps anyone, I will be over the moon but even if you just enjoy reading it then that's good enough. Although I'm not sure how all this writing will help!

Thank you for reading, do leave any questions you may have below. Also let me know if you want anymore posts surrounding this same topic..
Much Love, Kiera x


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